How do you weigh potential?
And when do you sacrifice it
when you pick one of two ways
and let go of all the scenarios,
you had thought for yourself.
Society expects me to know myself,
when it has always dictated my needs.
When should I listen to my core self,
and when should I strive for something above me.
It is not a matter of will,
but a matter of means.
I could push myself to achieve,
and numb myself to lead,
or, I could convince myself to settle,
but then how do I make peace
when people look down on me?
It is not a matter of will,
but a matter of means,
and I can feel my will unravelling,
with the fights I gave against my enemies,
my enemies that hog my mind and my surroundings
Well then, how do you decide what is good for you
when the choices were flawed from the beginning?
Who do you decide to be
when you can’t recognize
your own reflection
from the shadow?
It is a curse to be unconventional,
to be different from the herd.
You pay the price of connecting with yourself,
with isolating from the rest.
It is a solitary existence,
one I’m meant to lead,
but the loneliness is a gaping wound,
that festers in my life.
This is how it’s meant to be,
and 99 other lies we tell ourselves for peace,
when we want to justify our reasons
for letting it be.