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The art of being reasonably good.

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You want things.  I want things. I hope you know what you want. I have begun to know that about myself. Only if doing was as easy than knowing it, then I wouldn’t be writing this article. And perhaps, if you had figured it out then you wouldn’t be reading this.

Here are some possible reasons you have the fear of failure or become crippled with anxiety when starting something new.

You don’t want to be bad at what you do.

There are many other reasons like fear of embarrassment, loss of resources like money and time but at the core, is this single sentence.

What if I’m not good enough? What if it doesn’t work out?

 Sounds familiar? Well, it’s not your fault. So don’t beat yourself up.

Here are  some things I tell myself that might help:

Stop trying to be right all the time.

Given the innumerable ways to approach a situation, statistically speaking, there is a huge probability that your way is not the most efficient. Instead of asking ‘What if I’m wrong?’, try saying maybe I am wrong. But at this point I don’t know any better so I might as well go with what I have. Easy, right?


Change is not supposed to be easy.

When you’re trying something new, you have to approach it in a different way and learn more about the process. Things hardly remain the same throughout life. So if it’s hard in the beginning, it wouldn’t remain that way. You will ultimately solve the problems you have now. How else will you solve the other challenges down the line?

There is a difference between somebody making it look easy and it actually being easy. I used to give up so easily when things started to get rough because I thought it wasn’t supposed to be this way. ‘I want to be good at this. How can I continue if I’m so bad?’

Don’t wait for your feelings to catch up with your brain.

You may not feel like it on some days. You may not have the motivation to do it.

Motivation is fickle. It rises and falls like waves. Don’t float on top of it hoping that the next one wouldn’t drown you. Make a decision based on your understanding and needs and abide by it like an oath. Take the promises you make to yourself more seriously.

Don’t look for answers on the internet.

 This may seem counterintuitive in a post like this but our need to be always right is reinforced by the easy availability of the internet. When you type in a sentence, countless results pop up with people claiming to know what they’re doing.  The internet may have its perks but it doesn’t bode very well with the anxious.

The philosophical guru doesn’t know well, the hyperactive supermom on her blog doesn’t know well. They might be wise but they can’t make your decisions. The mess you have is unique. At least, it’s yours. Don’t let somebody else make it messier.


You want to be unique, yet you don’t want to be alone.

The stigma that you have to do something that makes you different is more toxic than people believe. It directly opposes our psychology to want to be able to connect with others. When what we subconsciously want opposes what we are made to believe we want, there is friction inside.

 But you don’t have to worry about this, because you don’t have to be the best. You just have to be reasonably good. When you stop trying to be the best, you become better. Say it like a mantra and it will start to be true. 

I don’t have to be the best. I don’t have to be the best.

I just have to be reasonably good. 

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