When I first saw the quote, ‘the only competition you have is yourself', on Instagram, I did feel inspired. Like wow, now I don’t need to compare myself to others. But this doesn’t drive away the problem.
Rather it shifts your focus to comparing yourself to your past. Because when you are competing, you think that your competitor has to be defeated and constantly compare yourself to them. The competitor becomes who you were. You develop an almost paranoid fear that if you remain the same, something will be utterly wrong. You are thrown into another vicious cycle of comparison and weighing the odds of how much you have changed and most disappointing, how much you haven’t.
Topics covered in this post:
• It adds you to the cycle of comparison.
• You can overcome your obstacles but that’s it.
•Hinders growth. It has hidden limits before you even start.
•The reason for self comparison
•A possible way out.
The cycle of comparison
The key to productivity is not to shift your focus onto another “better” problem i.e. comparing yourself with the person you were before, but eliminating the problem itself i.e. comparing yourself to anyone.
Here’s why the problem is so deadly, yes I use the word deadly because it has the potential to wipe out your will to work. In other words, your productivity.
Think about all the skills you are using while comparing yourself:
• Analyzing: This is the major skill you use while comparing. You think about what was important to you then and what has changed now. How much of your personality has evolved? This takes more energy than you think. You are not only thinking, you are trying to get back to your state of thinking and priorities that controlled you in the past in order to better understand the situation. You are, in other words, trying to turn into your past self. Imagine the time spent in time traveling.
• Evaluating: Now that you have understood the context for comparison, this where the exercise becomes a battle. A tally recording the win and the loss. Since we are not a fair judge, because we have a fallible and an almost malleable memory influenced by emotions, we don’t decide justly and we are the ones receiving the harsh judgment, on the other end. Most probably, you feel defeated.
Even if you have achieved more than you had previously done, you don’t feel very good. Because even winning after comparison always leave you to constant scrutiny. That leads to anxiety and a hunger for perfection.
The walk of shame:
isn’t it ironical that we keep losing to our past when we have no one left to battle with anymore?
You can overcome your obstacles but that’s it.
Everybody wants to overcome certain problems. Not being able to focus, not earning enough money. It depends on you to choose.
The amount of friction and dead weight this comparison adds, slows and demotivates you.
So what do you do now?
You do the only thing self comparison has ever taught you. Compare how far you have come.
And when it doesn’t amount to much, because you had a lot of emotional backlog slowing you, you fall to loathing yourself and what not, to ultimately give up.
Then you have to live with the self appointed badge of failure.
Don’t make living so hard. Don’t make growth so hard.
Hinders growth. It has hidden limits before you even start.
If somehow you believe like I once did that comparison is a better way of growing, then you will love this.
Our mind is like a flapping bird. Self comparison doesn’t stop there. You soon use the same approach to compare yourself to others.When you compare, you are already setting limits on your potential based on what others have achieved. This is the core reason you are always aware of what others are doing.
1. It weakens your will to decide because you don’t trust yourself anymore. You only believe what others have done.
2. It kills originality.
3. It is not synonymous with growth. It has a negative basis which will exert its influence the moment you feel weak. And then you wonder why do you give up easily.
Pay attention to how you motivate yourself. That may have more consequences than the realization of your goal.
The reason for self comparison
The sole reason for doubts and other types of self comparison is idleness. You are too free. Have you ever indulged in comparison when you had to complete a deadline an hour away? Now don’t try to be busy just for it’s sake. Try to engage your mind in fruitful challenges and it will give you rewards in return. Put your amazing analytical skills to work. If you uncover the skills you use in negative behavior, you will be amazed at how useful they can be in a different context.
There is a reason for the proverb:
Idleness is vice
•••
Note: Do not confuse introspection with comparing to your past. The former is objectively finding perks and flaws in behavioral pattern to improve and refine, the latter is just flawed. All it does is push you towards who you were and you spend all your energy dealing with it.