I hoped that the brightness of your smile,
would chase away the darkness
surrounding me.
But it was a foolish hope
and an even more foolish love
to fill my void
with your soul.
You tell me of your mischiefs,
your adventures and
the girls who once loved you
like I do right now.
I will soon be replaced,
but I’ll always remember you
as someone who saw me.
Someone with whom I could let go
a part of me unknown to many,
even counting me.
You tell me stories,
while I share my feelings,
for apart from my emotions of being lonely,
and disconnected,
I have nothing to reveal.
What do you want me to say?
That I find my existence bleak?
But how would that make
for a great dinner story?
You think I worry for naught,
but I have lost more things than I ever had,
like the time I lost you,
when I shared too much
that went on in my mind.
So we stay together
with you enjoying life
and me enjoying the sight
because it’s the closest I have been
to happiness of my own.
I imagine you needing me,
as much as I do.
You say it’s an illusion,
but for me it’s an improvement,
for I can put a face
to the desire that’s been
raging for ages.
You’re a prop to uphold me,
while I am your shore,
Wide and malleable
with lots to explore.
I long to hear you say you love me,
hoping it could numb the wounds inside me.
My friends say I’m desperate,
when I miss you
even when I barely know you.
You don’t know me either,
but that’s what you prefer.
Can we ever truly know each other?
See I took the philosophical turn
so I could escape the practical.
I don’t know the games you play,
call me naive, call me innocent
but at the end of the day,
come back to me.
For even if you can,
I cannot be free
without you close to me.
Is this love?
It better be.
Because I might not be able to
give up more
than I have already.
Say you love me already.