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Grow

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Grow

I did not grow up,
I grew out of you.
Your nitpicking job,
Your superior self, 
Your judgment set in stone, 
Your loving clasping around my throat. 
I did not grow up, 
I grew out of you. 

My planned life in your head,
My potential already decided,
Did not let me grow
But I did,
I did. 

Your false sense of control, 
Did not let you see,
That my horizon was broadening, 
My gaze was set far,
Far, far away,
A place where your fears could not seep in,
And become my own.
Fears that I had to carry on my back,
Blaming myself for weakness,
Unaware of its imposition,
Unaware of the game
Of you and me burdening each other
With ignorant lies. 

You did not let me go,
You never have and never will.
But my wings are made to fly,
And fly they will, 
Despite your proposed love,
Binding them. 

I stand on the shore, 
Sun rising, spreading through the dark clouds,
Are the clouds above or in my head?
I do not know.
The sea spreads vast.
I look back one last time,
The rocky cliffs, the bent cages,
Sharp edges and broken might. 
But see nothing that I am 
Leaving behind.
What I need is right inside,
My iron will, my beating heart.
The rest I can learn to live without, 
But to learn I will have to leave, 
For your hands shut my eyes. 
I did not grow up, 
I grew out of you. 

Look at me rising up to the sky, 
Strings stretch and break apart,
Bouncing off my body
My wings are flapping, 
They are gaining speed,
Faster and faster. 
Over the shore and the clouds,
The air is cleaner up here,
My head is clearer up here.
I can barely see you,
Your shouts don't reach my ears,
I do not know that it is cursing. 
My head is filled with melody,
The rhythm of freedom, 
It was always mine.
I do not need to beg anymore,
To plead my purity,
Muddied with your gaze. 
So you see, I did not grow up,
I grew out of you.
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