The world is more real when I am sad,
The edges are more defined
I have to stay wary of them.
They will cut me and I will trip
On pebbles that look like milestones
Then my spirit weakened by curses
Will falter.
It will break down
Like an old engine
With its parts rusting with despair
I will be a sight to see
To poke and laugh.
My failures will be put up
When I try to get back up at my feet
To remind me how filthy I could be.
At my lowest, when everything seems dull
It becomes black and white
and I see the true colors of life
The way it was meant to be seen.
Truth persists,
when everything else breaks down
And down and down it goes
To float away in the draining spirit.
I jump among the few rocks
Jutting from the spewing gutter
My eye is at the end of the tunnel
I see light. It teases me
Lures me to come closer
I let it fill and consume me
But not so much that it blinds me.
It tempts me to be in awe,
To worship the only truth I can perceive.
It calls me.
It's calling would deafen my senses.
I would jump faster to catch up
With it receding from my hold.
My anxiousness would pump blood to my legs.
They would leap from stone to stone.
Their pace would make them vulnerable.
Unaware of the folly,
Consumed by the jolly
That comes from rapidity,
Of moments flashing faster
Than you can fathom.
They would slip on the edge
And would take me with them
Down, down the drain
Drowning in my woes,
Pity enveloping my fragility
As a defense that weakens me.
I look up this time,
Yes I have been down this road before,
Yet it does not make it less meaningful
I let the light filter through
The air of gloom.
I do run after it.
I look around
I see what has fate managed to drain away
From people who were too weak
to hold it for themselves.
They let it be wasted away.
I see the reality,
In the monochrome.
I feel all the sensations
That the joy of the colorful world
could not gift.
In the light of truth
Or the truth of light,
I acknowledge the darkness
Taken form by my melancholy.
When I feel low,
I am risen to a newer height,
Where nothing is tainted
By hope, expectations
Even despair.
My mind does not flutter,
Sadness holds it still
To look around the life
I take to be mine.
This is the gift life whispers to me,
When it throws woes
Along my journey.
Yet the whisper is so faint,
It often dies away
In the clamor of society.
But it seeks you as much as you seek it,
You only have to sit still
And let it come to you.
Do not run from sadness,
It will define you.
Let it consume your hollow soul,
And it will cherish you
And blossom you to prosperity
Where at once you will be blinded again,
By false ecstasy.
The whisper will seek your sign
The signature you impress
Upon the world
with your footsteps.
And it if it encounters a welcome mind
It will unfold all the secrets of life.
/Excerpt published in the anthology 'Memories', available on Amazon/